"Going Out"

So, what's the difference between a gallery in the "real world" and an "online gallery"? I mean really. Yes, the scope that your eyes are subjected to is limited...but is it not still up to your imagination and where you allow your mind to be? I've been to several galleries in my life. I mentioned going to one downtown about a month ago, I've been to some in Florida of religious natures, and some in Chicago of scientific and historic natures...everyone loves The Children's Museum and Conner Prairie...which to me are galleries of screaming children and time warps vs. awkward actors...which made me think. Galleries are (traditionally) collections of pictures that take our mind...somewhere. Video games are smaller versions of "real worlds" in moving picture form...I find the scenery to be quite artistic...why not do something with some screen shots? So, I did.

Now, here is what the average screen shot looked like to begin with...


And here are some of the "gallery pieces" I concocted:










Actually, I found this to be extremely inspiring...and fun ^_^. I'm adding it to my list of ideas for when I get "stuck".

And as for the inspirational/"what inspires me" about Guild Wars... first off, it's a beautiful game. Hands down it's more gorgeous than WoW (which looks like a fruit loop). (...and I am well aware of the offensive quality of the statement I just made ^_~) But yeah, I am looking to design terrain and landscapes for 3D...stuff...probably in video games...some day.

Where I've been the past 2 weeks

I've been with the same person for almost 7 years. I'm not anymore. It's hard. Part of myself is gone, and part of myself is alive again. There is comfort in knowing or at least telling yourself that you know where you'll be the rest of your life. It's hard to compensate for that being torn away. He was 2 years away from being a doctor. Two years away from asking me to marry him. I was comfortable with that...having the "ideal" life, having what would be happiness according to a common standard. I loved him, I know that, I will always remember him in that way. He belongs there, and I belong here...we're both thankful for what we shared with each other, and we're for the most part ready to move on. I've never cried so much...despite having cried a lot in my life previously.

I'm not expecting a giant revelation in my life, while it would be nice. Right now, I'm just trying to stay standing and take small steps. Friends help a lot. Sometimes they say the right things, other times they suck at it. In the end, knowing that someone cares keeps me smiling. It's impossible for me to truly explain what I've given up, and at the same time it's impossible to explain how much I've gotten back.

I'm both weak and strong. I'm both capable of doing anything and nothing. I'm okay with who I am now, in fact, I'm quite happy. There's more to life than romance and finding a perfect partner, there's a lot more.

Bliss Assignment

I've been trying for the past week to do this assignment, and it just doesn't work for me. I can't plan fun. It has to be spontaneous. You said you were interested, not in WHAT we did, but how this exercise worked for us. Well, it usually works for me to just forget about work for a while when it gets hectic. To do things on command messes with my head. I tried playing video games, which usually keeps me entertained. I tried movies and shopping and just hanging out with people, but nothing made me ecstatic. Idk, I'm just not in the mood.

About the Bliss Assignment

I read over the assignment and found out that I don't have to come to class tomorrow (in essence). I'm ecstatic! I still haven't actually done my bliss assignment...though I've done hundreds of things that make me happy all weekend...It's odd, how happiness and sadness can be so entwined.


What happened to your eyes,
The purple frills keep turning.

Their light seems to fade.
Will they ever stop their turning...

Soon they will know darkness,
In their still such peaceful turning...

Except my gentle Iris fields,
In my mind, forever, turning.

I use to have a painting in my room...it was of a lady sitting in a field of Iris flowers. It was actually a picture I had torn out of my school art book in 5th grade. I framed it in the most ornate border I could find. I loved that picture. Years ago, I would stair at it and wonder why she sat there, what she was thinking about... I don't wonder anymore. I've been in that field more times than I can count...and I will be there again and again. It's not that the flowers are comforting and peaceful, or that the distance is just great enough to be "away"...it's more than that...and still, it's just that that keeps me coming back.

What the Bleep do we Know?

Originally, I wasn't going to watch the movie in class. I was going to leave and do the Bliss Assignment, but I had to get directions to a friend's house. I was looking up directions as the movie started, and then I got engrossed in it. So, I stayed.

Initially, I just loved it! The Japanese professor who did the water experiment was freaking awesome. The story...was lame, I have to admit. No body in our class seemed to connect with that lady...she felt like "my friend's mom." But I digress... (I just wanted to say that ^_^)

"They" didn't come out and say it, but they we're trying to give way to a new "religion" or way of life. When honestly, it was Buddhism all over again...mixed with a little Mormonism. They tried to hide it by making it upbeat and "self-help-class" like. To me, the idea of ascending or being enlightened and "lost in your own mind" makes me feel lonely. I have no desire to be god.

I felt one major flaw in their way of thinking was the "emotion addiction." The movie made me feel a certain way...thinking I could turn into or be god, made me feel a certain way - the whole idea could appeal to a person's "emotions"(those little jelly creatures that bugged the hell out of me). So, if you like the way believing in that makes you feel...you'll believe it, no? In the end, I think they pushed that people should avoid addictions and then they'll be enlightened. Um, so how do you explain the addiction to feeling like god? Are you "allowed" to not ignore that one? It just seems too skeptical to me. Same with primordial soup and people evolving from rocks, lol.

At one point it felt like they were also pushing giving into those emotions...so I may have misinterpreted that.

Also, the idea that things exist "everywhere" and that our sight limits it to one place. Look, I'm open to thinking creatively, but that's people's way of explaining their addiction to their own minds. They have overactive imaginations that make them "feel" like they're in more than one place, or they think they can "throw" their spirit to some other place on earth at will. They WANT to be like god, so they make excuse for it. Back to what I was saying though. As much as an atom doesn't exist, it also still exists more than a vacuum. Look at a vacuum under a scope and you'll see nothing. Look at mass under one, and you'll get something. Even if our eyes are only interpreting something that barely exists into extremely real solid objects - there is still a distinguishable difference, and that prevents a basketball from being in more than one place at a time.

They're ignoring what they don't know as well. Try finding the God Particle. Then try convincing me that you can control circumstances in your life. Key word there is "control" - you can effect them, sure. You have the ability to make decisions, but who "controlled" dinosaurs in existence? Seriously?

And can I say, the ending where they re-hashed what they believed for an hour was annoying.
lol, but overall it was a nice try.

#7 - Proximity Awareness

I was laying next to a closed window and a bug flew up next to my face on the other side of the glass. I felt it. it could have been my mind just expecting it to come closer...but I've heard too many theories.

There is the "life" aura, yes. I'm going to be more partial to gravitational fields for this one. The idea is a little like this: Everything with mass generates it's own field. Everything in a way attracts or repels everything else. Magnetic pull, gravity, and electricity are all thrown together in a lot of sciences. They effect one another in measurable ways any way. What if we can "hone in" on these measurable fields? Like, to the point where we wouldn't need to see to move around.

Just a thought, that I thought.

Let's take it a step further. Can we control our field? Can I make my field larger or smaller?
We can control our emotions which are related to electrical impulses in the body. Is there a certain emotion that taps into this field? Anger would be a good guess, or the other extreme.

What if we could move this field/energy?
lol, then we would all be DBZ characters and die happy?

I feel like I haven't created a new "sense" Soooo, my "created sense" is marshmallow Sense. Hey, pigs can find truffles...why couldn't I sense where marshmallows are?

#6 - HUMAN AURAS/KIRLIAN PHOTOGRAPHY

Ever heard of Kirlian Photography? I won't explain it to you, google it. But it's interesting, and it snaps shots of human"aura, energy, chakra" whatever you'd like to call it. Here's one from a martial artist:


Now, I believe in auras, just to let you know. I myself am not a "clairvoyant" as they like to be called, but I'm very in tune to people's overall and underlying mood(s). It IS a natural "sense" that can be developed, but in general, people who aren't naturally good at it just screw it. I will say, you have to be mentally strong...not hard headed, but accepting of yourself and your surroundings.

There existeth (lol) a color theory that relates to the location of 7 chakras/auras, all of which are found along the spinal cord. They may also be associated with nearby organs/areas (i.e. the heart, throat, etc.) Each individual chakra is assigned a color and thus a "mood." (colors came from research around Kirilian photography and clairvoyants ability to "sense in color") Here's a fun link if you want to know a little more: The Human Aura & Chakras

#5 - TOUCH

Our skin has a memory of it's own. It's easy to recall the feel of a rough unique surface...try it out. Look at this image:

It's a brick wall. Remember all the times you've skimmed your hands across one as you walked? They're dry and course. Your hands would be moist and stick to the wall a bit...you tried not to run your nails directly along it because they would scrape and it just felt weird.

Try this one:

Cotton bed sheets. Your skin remembers exactly what they feel like. Not the softest thing in the world but still very comforting.

Now try this:

One glass is room temperature, the other has ice in it. Imagine picking up either one. You know your fingers will get wet with one, and you can sense almost exactly how cold it would feel.

Touch is a powerful sense. It gets logged in our memories quite well, many times without us even noticing.

If you want an "oh, that's kinda cool" thing to do, google textures or surfaces, and just thumb through the images. Imagine touching each one...you'll be surprised at how you "know" exactly how each one would feel, even if you've never actually touched them before.

#4 - SIGHT

I could guess, most of us in class may choose to post beautiful scenes and such...sometimes, we wish we couldn't see...Sometimes, we would welcome a respite from our so glorious vision...this invisible pain we feel...

She was abused by someone who once said, "I love you."


This was a child...still is...


Once waited for someone to pet him...then just for someone to feed him.


She just wanted to be beautiful...wanted to be loved.


They all watch him and think, "how could his mother leave him there?" ...and pass on by.


What is your world coming to? Will you go on watching it? Let your eyes teach you.

ECHO

Does anyone remember this game...I was thinking of all the senses and it came into my head. Did you know you can smell under water? Well, humans can't very well...we'd suffocate if we tried, lol. But, Dolphins are amazing. They're visibly stunning, they have heightened senses like echo location and they are picky eaters which means they have sensitive pallets. They're bloody smart too...though, I guess all I know of Dolphins is either from the videogame "Echo" or from the old tv show with the bald sea captain and the dolphin that helped them with missions randomly.

#3 - Smell

Ok, my apologies for posting so late. I have been traveling. I'm actually in Tennessee right now. It was a long trip to make by myself...the Cumberland Gap is quite beautiful though. Internet is scarce. So, I'm sort of doing these assignments in clusters as opposed to every evening or whatever.

The air smells different down here. It's much...clearer.

Sigh...I want to say more...I feel like I'm ignoring this assignment, but I like that sentence just the way it is. It says all I really want to say...the air is clearer. It's not meant to be extremely deep...it's not even meant to inspire anything...things don't need great purpose. There is purpose enough in simply being...being simple.