I've been with the same person for almost 7 years. I'm not anymore. It's hard. Part of myself is gone, and part of myself is alive again. There is comfort in knowing or at least telling yourself that you know where you'll be the rest of your life. It's hard to compensate for that being torn away. He was 2 years away from being a doctor. Two years away from asking me to marry him. I was comfortable with that...having the "ideal" life, having what would be happiness according to a common standard. I loved him, I know that, I will always remember him in that way. He belongs there, and I belong here...we're both thankful for what we shared with each other, and we're for the most part ready to move on. I've never cried so much...despite having cried a lot in my life previously.
I'm not expecting a giant revelation in my life, while it would be nice. Right now, I'm just trying to stay standing and take small steps. Friends help a lot. Sometimes they say the right things, other times they suck at it. In the end, knowing that someone cares keeps me smiling. It's impossible for me to truly explain what I've given up, and at the same time it's impossible to explain how much I've gotten back.
I'm both weak and strong. I'm both capable of doing anything and nothing. I'm okay with who I am now, in fact, I'm quite happy. There's more to life than romance and finding a perfect partner, there's a lot more.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
That always sucks and its always different for everyone. I don't know how you feel but I've been close, you have my condolences. I think it constitutes missing a few days of school and/or work. Best wishes!
i know you are strong. i have seen that, you will get over this with time as your medicine and with your friends by your side.
Post a Comment